[19th of August, 2018]
One day, I was laying down in my bed, swiping guys on Tinder, feeling monotonous, and seem like this repetitive life will never be end. There was only two options left, keep talk about how Ed Sheeran affected my life with the guy I just met in Tinder, or play League of Legends. Back then, I couldn’t play ‘League of Legend’ for a month (or even two) because of my job and stuff – like study, friends, gym and all these other bunch of tasks called ‘obligation’ So I just put down my phone, hit the power button of my computer, and clicked the icon of League of Legend. If your gamer, you know, It’s hard to wait for an unexpected updates when you open the game after few weeks already passed. and so am I. For the interlude, It was just enough time to think about my life. and this inquiries seem like endless. after I make some conclusion about question, one another follow a train of thought. Like, what am I living for?, am I happy enough?, what do I want to do?, should I stop play games?, should I start to do something fruitful?, but game makes me feel happy, I wish I just can go back to my childhood, everything was so easy back then, I used to play board games with my parents and brother, can I ever going to have that time again? the time that I didn’t feel any pressure of life?
Meanwhile, game suddenly started. I picked Leesin as usual. game was triumph, we won, no doubt that they needed to surrender even before they made 30 mins. Then, It’s reality again. It feels bad when you have to come back to real, after you made successful result on game. and than I started to find some other things to do. but there was nothing to do. I was too lazy to play guitar, go exercise, or study again. It feels bad when you don’t know what you want to do in your life, or maybe you’ve given up because of reality. and you know life is not just about one side. there’s plenty of things can effect, or provoke something in your mind. At that time there’s many things happened simultaneously in my life, I lost motivation about my profession, just broke up with my boy friend, and of course I know that life is miracle and you can sip the beauty from every moment, but still. when you have some phase like that, you don’t give a shit about tasting moment of life. That moment, I realized. to eliminate this blues, I need to find out what I really want achieve in my life.
That’s why I made this list. to see what I want to do before I bury into the ground.
[The thing that I can accomplish in near future]
Buy a camera– I have two now
: need to earn some money to buy worthy one. I will probably use it for long time. like my travel buddy, going to name it.
Get a qualification for ‘tourism interpretation guide’– 8th, Oct
: I did not mention about alternating of my profession from artist to tourism guide, It’s really long story (like, any other boring story to find their ‘real passion’)
Anyway, to apply exam for this qualification, I need to require over 760 point in TOIEC. Easy peasy japaneasy! but still, want to get full score for my pride.
Get a driving license– I failed twice, but finally got it! 16th, Sep
: I’ve worked as a translator over 2 years in driving school. despite of the fact that I know every course and rule of the test, I couldn’t get it because of lack of money. Time to break my saving’s account. What’s the meaning of earning money If I don’t know how to spend.
Work in the tourism agency– I made great memories with my company
: I’m working in the restaurant / tourism agency recently, however, I still have bunch of things to learn. If I can learn and manage trips that I can use for my future career, It would be so great. I’m willing to dedicate my time.
Open a blog and Record my daily life
: The reason why I opened it. I will post at least twice a week. going to be tough challenge. even if none cares about, I’ll do to prove myself, and Internet is great place to save your data only that server goes down.
: Such a tempting language, isn’t it? everything sounds better in Spanish. even you curse me with language I will still take it as praise. start to from October. I’m going to buy some books and spend at least an hour per a day.
- Travel Spain, and other country located around
: Making budget to travel Spain!
- [The thing that I can accomplish in 5 years]
- Get language qualification of ‘DELE’
: that’s my future goal in first priority. B2 level is adequate level for now.
- Study history about world
: Includes, Korea history I want to learn history about world.
- Travel South America at least over 6 months
: No doubt, It is my dream since I was 15.
- Get the tattoo on sleeve
: If I stay one country more than a month, I will get a tattoo as souvenir
- Get language qualification of ‘DELE’
P.S All though I decided to live my life with all of my effort, I’m still going to make stupid mistakes. well maybe ‘stupid mistakes’ is a bit strong word. but I can say that ‘I’m going to do something my family or parents tell me not to do like, meeting an ex-boyfriend, sleeping in the subway after clubbing, staying up all night ignoring phone ringing behind the concern of my family and friends. what can I say.